Dear Ezra,

Hello my sweet little man. RIght now you are 5 years old. I love you so much. I am enjoying watching you grow up. I enjoy watching you take interest in things and make new friends. I am so pround of you. You are so different from your brother.. I like that you have your own personality. Im glad you are your own person and I hope you stay that way. I love you so much!
 Love you more -Momma

Hello Ethan

Hello my sweet boy. You are now 9 years old.. Time has flown by so fast. I sometimes sit and think about when you were a baby. It doesn't seem like its been that long ago but it seems like it went by to fast. The best advice I can give you is to not rush threw your life.. I regret so much rushing through life.  Always waiting for the next thing and not cherishing the moments and memories that are right in front of me. I want you to know that I love you so so much. I am so proud of you. You are smart and kind. (when you want to be) of coarse you have your moments but I know that you are gong to grow up and be a great person. I want you to do what ever you want to in life. If its fishing or hunting or playing sports.. just remember to be a good person while you figure out what it is that you want to do with your life.. Don't get discouraged bc you are small. You might be smaller then other people your age but you are mighty! You a strong and healthy and very smart and funny. I love you so much.

                                                                  Love you more. -mom

Changes.

I have decided that this blog is no longer going to be for me but something for my children to look back on. I am going to use it to write them letters and add special pictures that I love.. So as un interesting as my bolt once was its probably going to be even more uninteresting to people around me because it is going to be for my kids.
                                                   

mommy…whats in the word.

 When I was younger and Ethan was my only child I used to think that being a good mommy consisted . making sure he ate the best of the best meals.. extravagant meals… had the best new toys, had a nice looking bedroom.. making sure he was always dressed perfect, always looked perfect.. I thought that feeding him instant oatmeal or cereal for breakfast or spaghetti o's for lunch made me a bad mom ..


2 more kids later I realize that being a good mom has nothing to do with any of that. Being a good mom has to do with putting there needs before mine.. thinking of what is best for them and their future not. What makes me a good mom is I am not selfish with my time.. Do they still get homemade pancakes and eggs and bacon.. yes sometimes but more often then not they eat oatmeal and cereal and spaghetti o's and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches… bc the time i spend actually doing something with them is so much more important then what i do FOR them..


 As they get older and I look back at pictures i miss that time.. I may have been a stay at home mom all these years but i dont feel like I have got to spend a lot of time with them. I miss them being little.. even Elyza even though she is only 3. I can't get that time back and it makes me sad.. I spent the better part of last year being mad at people that dont even matter and that I should of never let into my universe in the first place.. I knew better..  I can't get that time back. I could of been focusing my energy on utilizing the time with my family.

Today I try to be the best mom I can be it doesn't always happen.. so days I'm super mom and other days i have to go to bed upset by the way i spent my day or yelled at the kids and i have to promise myself ill do better tomorrow.

Now does it make me a bad mother because I dont parent the way that you do , do the same schooling that you do, dress my kids like you do or cook the way you do ?? No and vise versa. Just because moms choose to parent differently doesn't make them a bad parent.. It doesn't  give me or you the right to judge anyone.. It doesn't make me wrong or you wrong.. so just remember that next time you decide to judge someone on there parenting.. or judge someone about anything having to do with there family.. my family is not your family.

I dont like being judged by other people by there standards on what a mom should do or say or teach or whatever.. It is probably one of  my HOT buttons.. because I have tried my very best to be a good mom to my children and when someone talks about my parenting or judges my parenting based on there life style it makes me want to beat someone. I pray a lot for Gods guidance for my children bc I dont want to ever make hasty  and selfish decisions about something bc of whats easier or better for me… I want it to be about them.. I dont want to be pushed by people about how they should be taught or what they should eat and I sure as heck dont want someone to try to make me feel like I am less of a mom because I dont go out back and cut the heads off chickens for my dinner.. (sorry for the graphic reference)..


I hope that I have never ever made someone to feel like less of a mother bc of something I have said or done in there company.. If i have ever I sincerely apologize.

As always i have run off on a tangent.. sorry about that..

What a year 2013 was!!! Learned a lot about people.. Learned a lot about me.. The kids are growing up so fast.. We added a new member to the family. Phoenix, Our crazy wild child balck kitten. He is awesome though just very wide open. We love him though. Lets see. Ethan started 3rd grade Ezra started pre k 4, Elyza started at a new dance place that she love love loves.. Ethan got a new guitar this Christmas and he is hoping to learn to start playing it. Ezra is excited to play baseball this year. Nothing new with me and Brandon.. just keeping it real. spending time with friends and family.

 keep it real- 

Ice cream panty hose!

                             As I'm looking out my kitchen window on this beautiful day while I wash the ice cream out of my little 2 year olds panty hose all I can do is think about how happy I am to be able to be doing just what I was doing right then. I know it sounds weird right? Why be so happy about having to hand wash strawberry short cake ice cream out of white chevron panty hose......? Because I can.  I have been given that gift in life.. I have this sweet little fire ball of a little girl that drives me crazy sometimes.. but she is my little fireball and I get to be at home with her and raise her and be with her and her brothers while they do all the silly things they do, like get ice cream on her panty hose or sleep with swimming goggles on or annoy her brothers just because it makes her laugh.. I am blessed and I forget it why to often. Its been a bad day but in that moment of washing her clothes in the sink and looking out the window it really made me see this day as a win.. We are under a lot of stress right now so I need to remember the little things that make life really matter..!

sleeping with Ethans swim goggles on!

Haven't been on here in a while.

It's been so long since I have been on here that I have forgot how to do some things so please forgive me. I'm going to have to relearn everything that has to do with the blogging word. You know the old saying if you don't use it you lose it?? That is absolutely me!!


I guess I will start this year 2013 with some updated pictures of my lovely children. I can't believe how big they are getting.

Meet Braxton Ruger! He is much bigger now.. We rescued him from the animal shelter.. He is wide open!! We got him in October 2012!

 

This is Stella! We just got her a couple of weeks ago. She is almost 9 weeks old.. She is so spoiled! Just like having another baby!!

 

We are headed into summer and hoping for a good one.. Pool, beach, Florida and hopefully breaking ground on our new home.. (Things are moving very very slowly) I'll keep you all up to date..

 

Also my husband and I have started a new business that is slowly getting started. Clothez for Cutiez. We are selling cute childrens clothes at affordable prices. You can check us out on facebook at www.facebook.com/clothezforcutiez or you can go shop in person at Southern Chic Salon and Boutique in Lexington North Carolina. Thanks so much to the owner for allowing us to put our clothing in her store! She Rocks!

 

That's all for now.. hope everyone has a lovely week. Im going to try and post on here more since im not on facebook anymore.. Stay Real!

-Jenny

 

Ezra's first Dentist Trip!

I can't believe its time for Ezra to visit the Dentist for the First time! I was very worried about how he would do. He is very picky when it comes to who he talks to. He is not like Ethan at all who will talk to anyone. Ezra is shy and he doesn't like new places or things very much. He has been described as having a "highly sensitive personality"! So I went into the office prepared for the worst and he id amazing!! i am so proud of him! he had no cavities and did a great job!

Ethan also went for a check up and he also has no cavities but may need to have a tooth pulled to make room for a tooth that looks like on the xray might come in in the wrong place. We just have to watch it as it start coming in and see what happens. The sooner they do something about it means they might can correct it and he might not need braces when he is a little older. Here are a few pictures! Yes you know I took my camera! I need to get out the pictures form Ethans first visit to compare them!  And of coarse I have to add some pictures of Elyza!!

Sunday Shenanigans!

I finally got some pictures off my other computer and thought I would share them..

Ezra working on his beard!

                                                    
                                     Nikki on date night. Jonathan is scared of the momarazzi! lol

                                                    He looks like he loves me, doesn't he?

Proof I can dress myself in something besides sweatpants!

                                                          
                                                    Elyza is ready for date night with daddy!

                                                        Ethans valentines for his class mates!

Proof they do love eachother and that they mess up my bed daily!

some things about me you might not know, heck you might not want to know!

1. There are people that I would love to be friends with as an adult but just can't seem to forget how they treated me as a teenager so I keep them at arms length not knowing really whether they are good people now or just pretending to be.

2. I love love love the sound of dirtbikes! Just ask Brandon how much! lol

3. I tend to remember the bad memories more then the good. I hate that about myself

4. If I could change one thing about myself.... I would more patient with my kids.

5. I work better and get things done when I'm stressed.

6. I am so forgetful.. again  just ask Brandon

7. I have a secret addiction to real house wives. just about all of them but new york. and also the secret life of the american teenager. ( yeah yeah i know)

8. I love skittles

9.I am Italian, Greek, Jewish, Cherokee Indian and Lumby Indian. Yep that"s alot!

10. I used to never say what I thought or felt about someone I would just go behind there backs and talk about them. I refuse to do that anymore and yes it is uncomfortable sometimes but how can anything be fixed or resolved if the other person doesn't know they did something to offend you?

11. I love Brandon with every fiber in my being. We haven't always gotten along the best and we have had some very trying times but he is my best friend. he know the good and bad of me and he excepts me with his whole heart.

12. It makes me mad to see women boss there husbands around and talk to them like dogs and brag about how they boss them around. Read your bibles ladies.

13.I love to workout. I am so glad I started on this journey.

14. I feel so blessed to have some amazing friends around me. They make me want to be the best person that I can be because they are so awesome

15. I hate socks

16. I miss my daddy

17. I dont know what I would do without my mom! I love you!

18. I love the little mermaid and beauty and the beast

19. I watched Hope Floats everyday after school for a year.

20. and last but not least......

                    I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!

 oh and number 21. I love the word Shannigans!

feeling crafty!

I am usually not one to post alot about stuff I make for the kids but this was a cute easy idea that I wanted to share. We are still working on getting Ezra's room finished and it really needs to have some accents and things on the wall.


I had brandon make me some of  what was suppose to be 8x8 boards at work. Once I started working with them they were actually smaller so I just cut the paper smaller. No big deal. He painted then white at work for me so it would save me some time.

I then found Ezras bedding on Ikea.com and added it to psp so I could get the colors perfect. I made a new template sized 8x8 and designed some pages to match his room.

I printed out the letters in his name and cut them out. I ended up changing the font because I decided I didn't like this.

I used a spray adhesive from walmart in the craft section to glue the paper to the boards.

I used the same thing to glue the letters!

I used modge podge to do a gloss sealer on the letter z to see how it would do. It made the paper bubble and I  just took it off the board and I'm going to make a new one without.

                                  I was gonna hang these on the wall but a shelf might be better!! Here are a few pics of his room. It is a mess because I took all the clothes out because he is getting a (new to him) dresser. Sorry some of the pictures are sideways I dont know why blogger does that to them. Just turn your head sideways! lol
 

 

I want to be a circus clown when I grow up!

Okay so we took the boys to the circus last night for the first time, unfortunetly Elzya is still sick so she stayed at home with mamaw. It was so fun! Ethan danced and yelled and just set with his jaw dropped to the floor most of the night.. It was so much fun to see him so excited.

Ezra on the other hand was only interested in the Elephants. He kept calling them his elephants! And didn't care about any part of the show but the elephants until the dragon came out at the end and he loved the dragon. About 2 hours into it Ezra was ready to go home.He kept walking back and forth and I felt so bad for the people in front of us cause I know it was getting on there nerves. He was tired because it was bedtime and he isnt used to being out late. So with that said I have a funny story to share....

 Ezra does not like to wear clothes. I can get him dressed and in 5 minutes he will be in his underwear most of the time he does it when he is tired. So we are at the circus and he was getting sleepy and I looked over and he was stadning beside me and he had taken his jacket off.. so I was like well thats okay he has his jacket off.. I look back ove at him and he has half of his shirt off! The child was trying to take all of his clothes of in the middle of the circus!! It was so funny! I felt bad for him because he was so tired. He fell asleep on the way home. He just woke up this morning and is still talking about the "Big Dragon"






he also loved dancing during the preshow!


I think Brandon really enjoyed himself too. I loved it. I loved the clowns..I think I want to be a clown when I grow up. It has got to be so much fun! I bet they have a blast being in the circus!





How do you think we look???
 

What's in a day....?

So I love reading about how other people go about there day with children. It helps give me ideas about what I could do different and sometimes just makes me feel like I'm not the only one with a crazy hectic schedule. So I decided to document a day at The Biesecker Baby Farm.....
 
Mornings start early here.. Brandon is up at 4:30 and out the door by 5. We won't see him again until about 5 at night. Sometimes on Fridays he gets off early so thats like Christmas to me!!
Ezra and I  get up around 6:30.. I make Make  breakfast, wakeEthan  up ( I try to let him sleep as long as possible b/c he is not a morning person, Ezra wakes up on his own at 6:30.. yes even on the weekends!) . I  start laying out clothes and making Ethans  lunch, packing snacks, signing papers that I forgot about from the night before. Ethan starts getting ready about 7 with a usualy melt down about something most mornings. Elyza wakes up around 7:30 so that gives me enough time to get Ethan ans Ezra dressed before she wakes up. We pile in the car and get Ethan off to school by 7:55. ( I don't like to get him there earlier because if they get there before that they have to sit in the media center and Ethan doesn't like that)

WOOO!! Are you still with me?
Come home, Feed Elyza. read books play and she goes down for a nap at 9:45 and sleeps till 11:30 or 12. while she sleeps Ezra and I play, read. watch t.v. do a little cleaning and mess on the computer like I'm doing now! We eat lunch around 12:30 and they kids play while I clean or work on pictures or just whatever I need to get done for the day.
We pick Ethan up at 2:30 and head home and start homework and dinner.( There is usually an hour long meltdown with Ethan over homework) Fun Fun! I hate homework!
 I try to have dinner on the table when Brandon gets home about 5. We eat, we play we take bathes and bedtime is 8:30 for the little ones and Ethan stays up later because he has a hard time going to sleep.
In the midst of all that I go to the gym 6 days a week whether its in the morning after breakfast or I go at night after everyone has gone to bed. Thanks goodness the gym is open late!!  We also fit in the park and cubscouts and church on the days thats all that extra stuff falls on.. we are getting ready to add karate and gymnastics in the mix! You should probably start praying for me now! and then we do it all again the next day.

If you think you cant, you must............

It's interesting to sit and reflect on your life every few years and think about where you've been, and where you are going. It's definitely an interesting experience for me personally, because I could never imagine I would be where I am today. Most of my family, not so lucky.

But I do remember thinking, KNOWING, I would never "be able to..." so many things. I defy myself over and over again. I think the key here is to aim higher than you ever think possible. A friend told me that they were going to aim higher than ever so that when they settle somewhere just below, it'll be the most amazing place. I have to agree here.
But when you think so big, it can be overwhelming. I mean, looking 250 steps in advance, it's a little difficult to take the first step. The thing is... every journey does begin with the first step. How cliche'? Yep. and sooooooooooo true. Because years down the road when you look back, you'll see that you've accomplished those goals, or you are well on your way. You won't even remember taking that first, 20th or 100th step. It'll seem like a lifetime ago.
Fear and intimidation are the devil's way of keeping you down. YOU HEAR ME?! You want something, you get it. Whether you can get it in one hour, one month, one year or a lifetime. Because when you get "it", the reward won't be what you thought it would be... it won't be the goal. It will surely be all the life long lessons learned along the way. All of the people you met, who are now a part of your life forever that helped you get there. And all of the memories you made with each step. The "it" you began your journey for won't even really matter anymore. It'll be a reward of so many other gifts received.
It won't be easy, you'll have to take risks, leave people behind, face judgments and jealousy from others.... but those are the times when you'll learn the most about who you are, who is in your life, and what you deserve.
So when you hear someone say all of those cliche's that drive you up the wall, remember, every journey begins with one step.... and every single thing in life can be yours with just a little patience, a bit of optimism, and a lot of support... only of your choice though. Always surround yourself with those you want to be like; whether it's monetarily, of the same faith, morally, or professionally.
The path of least resistance is for sure, not always the best. And usually the worst.
Sitting around complaining and blaming and filling the world with your negative energy is only pushing those who can benefit you and support you away the most. It's not only wasting your time, but anyone else who is in earshot's time too. If you put more energy into obtaining your goal...watch how much faster it arrives....


I did not write this but i wish i would have!

Imaginary Friends

This whole imaginary friend thing is all new to me. My 7 year old son never went through the imaginary friend phase of is life,so I'm a little unsure on how to handle this new phase that Ezra is going through. He has an imaginary kitty cat that he named Skeeter. He is Red and is a girl. He walks around with his hands together like he is carrying her through the house and he puts her to bed and feeds her cheerios.. It really is the cutest thing but I'm not sure whether this is good or bad.. thoughts please...

a must read blog!

Please do yourself a favor and go read her blog it is amazing and refreshing! http://offbeathousewife.typepad.com/the-offbeat-housewife/

The Good Friend Award goes to.....

I would just like to take a minute to give a shout out to Nikki Young and Gayle Whitehead.

Gayle is my best buddy! She is the only person besides my mom and my husband  that I talk to every single day of my life. I can talk to her  about anything without feeling judged. I can vent to her about anything and she will listen to me for hours and hours.(When I have babies she makes me dumplins!) If I need her she is always there for me.Even when she is sick she is always here for me and my kids and everyone else as well.  She loves my kids like they are her own and that makes my heart happy.She is always thinking of other people and what she can do to help in our community.  Gayle is one of the strongest women I have ever met in my life and she has overcome so many things. She is such an inspiration to me. I love her and I hope she knows that!

Nikki is the kind of friend that if you are planning something, she is gonna be there! It doesn't matter if she has been remodeling an attic all day and is covered from head to toe in insulation if you need her she is gonna be there for you. I can call her with a crisis and she will drop what she is doing and rush over and help me. (and this day in age that says alot about a person.) I have called her at 1am before upset  and she rushed to my house and stayed and talked to me for hours and hours.She doesn't walk around like she is better then anyone and she doesn't act like she is to good to hang out with people. ( and around here that is few and far between) She also loves my kids like they are her own and it makes my heart happy! I would also like to give a shout out to Nikki's mom, I love her to and plan to adopt her, she is so sweet. I guess thats where Nikki gets it! ( oh and she has perdy hair! lol)

I was just laying in the bed thinking about the people in my life and I just wanted to dedicate a post to them so they know how special and important they are to me.Both of these women are so amazing.  I love both of you very much and I feel blessed to be a part of your lives! I hope I can be half of the friend that these 2 women are.

13 months and counting!

                                                         

                   My baby girl is 13 months old! I can't believe it. She is something I tell ya! She is IN to everything! She is a little fire cracker but then turns around with those big blue eyes and melts your heart!!

                       These days Elyza gets into more shanigans then the boys ever did.. I can't leave any door open in the house(which drives me crazy because I hate closed doors) because she will find something to get into. She takes the toliet paper off the roll, gets into trashcans and loves to get stuff out of the cabinets and throw it all over the kitchen!

                       Her and Ezra fight over toys like crazy! I've never seen a 13 month old fight to the deaths over a toy before.. They both are so strong willed that I usually just have to take whatever it is they are fighting over away and hide it. Then in the next minute they are hugging and loving on eachother..

                       She loves to hug. she runs up to us and wraps her little arms around us and lays her head on us and says" oh baby" it is the sweetest thing ever! She likes to love on her brothers and babydolls!
 She loves playing with other babies!!

Elyza loves pink and pocketbooks! I don't know how she could already love pocket books but she loves carrying one around and if its pink thats even better!

                       She is getting better about sleeping through the night which is awesome! Mommy is tired! I haven't had a good night sleep in 6 years probably. I am looking forward to it! When she gets put to bed she lays in her crib and turns her Scout puppy dog on and then she sings herself to sleep. It is the sweetest thing in the whole world.. Maybe she will like to sing like her mommy but do it a little better! lol

                  She has her daddy wrapped around her finger! His nickname for her is Betsy. I know I don't get it eighther! Ezra calls her Liza which is better then what he used to call her which was MONK MONK!! lol

                   We feel very blessed to have such a wonderful little family. Each year has had its ups and downs but we are learning as we go through each challenge..

 Stay tuned for more to come with The Biesecker Baby Farm... next blog will be ..... "Imaginary Friends"